Re: Never Alone. (Shiori)

[Guest]

No matter how much Leah wished to indulge herself in Jason's friendship and companionship, her mind always nagged at her for not being there with Eric. She had half the mind to go running from Jason and back to Eric's bedside and plead for his forgiveness. But something held her back, and she knew it was prominently fear. The fear she held kept tight restraints on her. She didn't want to be Jason's anything, except his friend, but the other, lonely, damaged part of her brain wanted more than that from him. The other half of her brain continued to tell her Eric would forgive her if she only asked for it, but her heart said otherwise. Her heart told her it was impossible and that they'd never be what they once were. And even now, as Leah considered Jason as a possible love interest, she knew it'd never be the same. Leah knew she hadn't met Eric just by "chance." They were two oddly crooked puzzle pieces that needed each other; there was no other person in the entire world that would fit as perfectly as they did together. Once more, Leah's heart retracted painfully, and she found herself on the verge of tears. "All right," she said, giving Jason a weak smile that she was only vaguely aware of. Pulling out her cell, she quickly sent Eric at text, unable to keep herself from saying what she needed to:

Eric, please forgive me. I know you shouldn't. I know you probably can't. I just want to let you know how sorry I am...

Leah sniffed momentarily, pretending it was allergies, before continuing,

I know it means nothing to you now, but I still love you. I really, honestly do... So I'm sorry I screwed everything up. I'll see you back at the church, hopefully.

Leah sent the text, tears glossing her eyes, but not one slipping past her well-placed defenses. She turned her phone off and put it away, stepping up beside Jason and asking in a friendly matter, "What's your favorite flavor?"

[Spritz]

((Quick question- Eric doesent have a cell phone yet, it got crushed by Blake. He's using the hospital phone. So, we could either pretend he has a phone, or Leah forgot and sent the messages, and they didn't get through... I have to know before I post.))

[Guest]

[ >.< oh my gob i'm so stupid. Let's say she forgot (well, Eric never told her he lost his cell anyways) and sent it anyways... I'm so sorry. Dx I am so stupid ]

[Spritz]

Jason hadn't noticed Leah's display of emotions, as he had been busily chatting with the young woman behind the counter. He had indirectly turned his back on Leah, and only now turned to her as she asked him what his favorite flavor was. The girl turned away from them for a moment or so, giving Jason the oportunity to respond to Leah's question.

"Ummm... I dont really have one." He slipped his hands into his pockets, giving a half hearted shrug and looking through the glass, down to the large gallon buckets of ice cream. His eyes inavertantly glanced up to the girl, though his eyes rested a bit lower. She turned around however, leaning across the top of the counter and smiling at the two. "What can I get for you?" Jason flashed her a smile, which brought a slight pink blush to her cheeks. Turning to Leah, he nudged her with his elbow slightly, attention now returning to her.

He shone her his perfect smile, seemingly going from one to the other, back and forth in quite a confusing mannor for the two of them. "Have you made up your mind?" He looked at her for a moment, before his gaze returned to the large buckets of ice cream in the freezer.

[Guest]

Leah watched Jordan from time to time. He seemed to be ADHD: his attention flickered everywhere almost every second. After she sent the text, she frowned and wondered why Eric hadn't replied. There was one of two things: 1) he was over her and didn't feel the need to respond, or, 2) his phone was turned off. Leah guessed it was more likely to be the first one, so she sighed and shoved her phone deeper into her back pocket, not wanting to even think about Eric anymore.

Forcing herself to pay attention to what was arranged before her, Leah shrugged, "Eh, this is only the second time I've ever gotten ice cream," Leah admitted, giving a shrug of her own. Thankfully, she didn't remind herself of Eric while her eyes glazed halfheartedly over the types of ice cream. She really didn't care what flavor she had, really, but she decided to do something more exotic.

Her attention had meandered to other places, pulling her mind away from the task at hand, but Jordan's voice broke through the silence between them. "Hmm?" Leah asked, then snapped back to reality. "Oh, sorry," she gave a sheepish smile, before saying, "Watermellon sorbet," and allowed her attention to wander elsewhere for the time being.

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"Good choice." Jason smiled at Leah, the girl behind the counter turning to grab an ice cream scooper. "Cone or dish?" Her voice was cheerful, and Jason scowled slightly. He nudged Leah yet again, but figured Watermelon sorbet wouldn't be that good in a cone. Either way, he wouldn't care. "And for you?" The girl asked him what he wanted, and he shrugged slightly. "Just... That one." He pointed to a vanilla ice cream, that had small chunks of what looked like chocolate and cookie dough spread through out it. It seemed fine, he hadn't tried it yet and figured there was always a first time. "In a cone." He shifted slightly, glancing up and pulling out a few bills to pay for the treats.



(I cant think today. x.x)

[Guest]

Leah smiled at Jason. He seemed much more....open than Eric had been when she'd first met him. But then again, when Leah first met Eric she was in tears and then they'd gotten stuck in a very cramped area under a children's playground. When Jason nudged her again, she looked up, then said, "Bowl, please." She smiled at the woman behind the counter, keeping her attention on Jason and the ice cream now, not wishing to think of Eric. That was merely the past (or so she thought) and it would probably never be resurrected (or so she thought). Leah already found herself liking Jason---of course, only as a friend for the time being. Little did she know, her heart was looking for something---someone---would could fill in the gap where Eric's love had been; and little did she know that wasn't possible.

[Spritz]

The ice cream was quickly served, and Jason payed for it without much of a problem. Dropping the few returned coins into his pocket, he grabbed both of the treats and gestured for Leah to follow him. He wondered what had led up to this, and couldn't help but also wonder how soon it would end. Leah had said they were probably going to move on, but he wanted her to stay in the church for just a little bit longer; if not a long time. It wouldn't go unsuspected though, he wasn't allowed to date. Which, was a terrible thing in his perspective. So, in place of that, he had to keep things between him and girls quiet, out of his father, and also the group of 'church goers' away and out of sight. It was a pain, not being able to move without his every move watched. Breaking out of his thoughts, he slid into an empty booth and set Leah's sorbet down on the other side, waiting for her to join him.

[Guest]

Leah smiled and turned as Jordan got the ice creams, and led the way to a comfy, red-leather-clad booth. It looked very old-fashioned, really, but Leah thought it cozy. She stared around for a moment before sliding into the seat opposite of him and saying, "Thanks for paying," She smiled and picked up the plastic spoon that'd come with the bowl of ice cream, flashing Jordan a quick smile before taking a bite. It was sweet, yet tangy. It was a different flavor alltogether, but she liked it. "So..." Leah said, pursing her lips momentarily. She had no idea what to talk about, to be completely honest. So, she decided to bring up the work and his place at the church, "When you're not out and about, what do you do at the church?"

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Jason frowned at the ice cream for a second, before grabbing his spoon and taking a bite of the treat. It was cold, and tasted heavenly to him. It was only rarley he ever came out here anymore, as he was too busy with schooling and the like. When Leah asked him about the church, he gave a shrug and looked away. "To tell you the truth," He paused for a moment, trying to sort out the mess of words in his head. "I dont like it there. I cant be myself. It's like I'm being watched by everyone, and it's always boring and time consuming. Dont get me wrong- I like it and all, but... It's too much for one guy to handle. I'm not even allowed to date." He grimaced, bringing another spoonful of icecream to his lips.

[Guest]

Leah ate some more of her ice cream while Jordan explained the answer to her question, her expression growing more sympathetic by the moment. When he finally finished, his last comment caught her off guard. Leah hadn't been expecting him to tell her that bit of information. It sounded a bit...intimate to tell her, since they'd only just met and all. Leah shook her head; she was still surprised he'd brought that up. "Hmm," Leah said, thinking for a moment before swallowing another spoonful of ice cream, "Your dad doesn't let anybody help you? Or is there just nothing anybody else could help you with?" She asked, looking up at him.

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"No... That's not what I was going at." Jason gave her a lopsided smile, all the while poking at his ice cream with the plastic spoon, in a rather dejected manner. "I dont have a life outside of the Church. My dad want's me to be just like him, because... Well-" He looked away from Leah, his light blonde hair falling into his eyes. "My older brother died in a car accident. He was the favorite, until that happened. My dad was crushed. He expects me to be just like Jake, but it's not going to happen." Giving a shrug, he cleared his throat loudly. "Anyway, enough about me."

[Guest]

Leah took another bite of ice cream and frowned. She stared out onto the streets for a moment, listening to his story. WHen he mentioned his brother had been the favorite, Leah sighed. "I was always the hated one in my family," Leah commented forlornly. She felt at loss, but at the same time she felt like dismissal was something she and Jordan had in common. She shrugged and looked over at him, "I'm sorry that happened. I've never really lost anyone I was related to. And even if I had, my parents never informed me about." Leah sighed heavily as she stared into her ice cream.

[Spritz]

"It's not healthy to be sad while eating ice cream." Jason winked at her in a friendly manner, then shrugged his shoulders. "I'm sorry about that too." Bringing the cone up to his lips, he managed to catch the stray drips that were cascading down its sides, cracking off a peice of the waffle cone and eating it.
"I would bring some back for Eric, but I think it would melt pretty fast. He's probably fine without it, eh?"


Not again. Eric had no patience for wheel chairs, as he was sure he didn't need one. He hadn't even needed to go to the hospital, did he? It was just a broken wrist- and a few sprained fingers... and... a cracked rib or two... Eric insisted on it, thus he was 'escorted' to the pastor's car without much of a problem. Wondering where Leah had gone off to with that kid, he set his jaw tightly and narrowed his eyes- not wanting to think about it. Too many once happy memories came flooding back- but now they were miserable.

[Guest]

Leah smiled at him and took another bite of ice cream. He seemed sweet. She definately wanted to get to know him more; yet ther heart was, deep inside her, begging her just to run from him and stay away, just to wait for Eric until he accepted her again, or, if he never did, that she'd keep herself clean from any other male that she came into contact with. Memories of Matthew and Eric's father came rushing back to her, and she shook her head involuntarily. She looked back up at him as he made the comment, and Leah chuckled, "I think he'll be fine. Anyways, he had a knack for changing ice cream flavors." Leah shrugged lightheartedly.

[ xD I love that ; "Not again. Eric had no patience for wheel chairs," ]

[Spritz]

Jason's bright blue eyes held a hint of sadness, the far away look that would usually let his company know he was deep in thought. His cropped blonde hair was slightly ruffled, as he soon finished up the ice cream. Resting his elbows on the table, he cocked his head to the side and started as his phone suddenly rang in his pocket, a simple beeping sound echoing and drawing a few of the customers attention to him. Digging down, he managed to clasp it and flip it open, giving a hesitant smile of aplogy to the others and bringing it up to his ear. "Hello?" His voice was a question, not much of a greeting. When he heard the low voice of his father however, he set his jaw and looked away, slightly disinterested. "Yeah. Fine." Shaking his head, he closed it and dropped it into his pocket, before shining a bright smile at Leah. "That was just Dad. He's taking Eric back to the church. It's not too far away from here, if you wanted to walk back with me?" His voice was slightly hesitant, and his smile faltered as he thought she may have wanted to go with Eric.

[Guest]

Leah finished up the last bites of ice cream as Jordan talked on the phone with whoever-it-was, who he later specified as his father. Nodding, Leah stretched and smiled back at him with a genuine look of interest, "Sure. I need to move my things out of Eric's little cot area anyways..." Leah shrugged and pretended that it wasn't much of a big deal, but inside she was wishing she could stay in the same cot area with Eric. However, she'd never say that out loud. Standing up, Leah threw away her trash and looked around a moment, then back to Jordan, "Well. Let's walk back, shall we?" Leah said with a cheery smile. Anything to get Eric off of her mind. Anything.

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Jason was slightly surprised when she said she would need to move her things out. If he were Eric, he would have loved the company of Leah- whether it would only be because he had just gotten home from the hospital, or because she still had feelings for him. His stomach clenched, Jason's lips drawing into a fine line. Giving a nod, he stood up and grabbed the paper wrapper from his cone. The garbage was positioned near the door, he would dispose of the trash as soon as they reached it. "Yes. Back to the church." He breathed a weary sigh, before shaking his head and running a hand through his honey blonde hair.

[Guest]

''All right!" Leah said, smiling. She pulled some thickly-dyed hair behind her ear as she wondered what Jason was thinking about. He'd suddenly looked like he was upset about something, or possibly just deep in thought. When she walked outside, she held the door open for him. Suddenly curious, Leah said, "It doesn't seem like you like the church very much. It's understandable, but why don't you talk to your father about it?" Leah knew she may be getting into personal places, but Leah liked what she knew about Jason so far, and she wanted to help him make a difference.

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The young man gave Leah a long look, his face taught and showing that he wasn't really open about this. "I cant say that to him; it would break his heart. Litterally." Shaking his head yet again, Jason turned from her and started to stride towards the glass doors. He shoved the wrapper into the garbage on the way out, then turned around and gestured to Leah. "Come on, best be getting home soon." Giving her a kind smile, he pushed the door open and waited for her to join him.

[Guest]

Leah suddenly felt awkward. She put her head down and followed him, only looking up when they had walked outside. Leah let out a deep sigh. How she longed for Eric to be there with her… Yet she knew that it was impossible now. Virtually impossible, at least. Leah knew she’d screwed up and she hated herself to the point Eric had, and started cutting. Leah didn’t expect she’d start cutting. No, it wasn’t enough punishment for what she’d done to him. Yet the idea that she had was so vulgar it startled Leah that the thought had ever crossed her mind. Leah stared absentmindedly on the sidewalk, her hands shoved deeply into her pockets, and let the thought settle in her mind. She couldn’t run away this time. Literally, no. Metaphorically…and emotionally? Yes. She could escape it all. But Leah knew it was stupid, and the scariest part is it didn’t bother her anymore. The thought of ending this eternal nightmare was too tempting for her, and she nearly broke down right there. She had to bite her lip to keep herself from bursting into tears. She didn’t want to explain herself to Jason in the first place. He’d probably think she was a freak, and he was all she had now.

[Spritz]

Something was wrong with Leah... Jason could sense it. She seemed just fine, occasionally smiling and talking, but there was a far away look in her lovely eyes, the slight slump to her shoulders as the two began to make their way down the dirty grey sidewalk. Silence was heavy on the two, and unfortunatly for the both of them, neither seemed to want to talk. Jason looked down at his feet, avoiding the cracks between the slabs of conctrete and slipping his hands into his pockets. If only he had had more experience with girls, he would no doubt know what to say to her... but nothing he thought of seemed fitting at the time. The walk was painfully slow, but soon enough the tall, brick building of the church came into sight.

Jason was struck with how... old, it suddenly looked. As they approached, faint cracks between the dirty red bricks became more noticable, any landscaping that had been done having grown over and become wild. Thick grape vines clung to the outer walls of the building, the brass doorknobs no longer shining. This place looked... dull, to him. It looked boring and he was way too familiar with it. What had happened to having a life? Maybe it was time... maybe it was time to tell his father this was not the place for him.

But, he wasn't to be bothered with that at the moment. Stepping down the stairs that led to the lower, basement of the church, Jason opened the door and waited for Leah to step inside. Sooner or later... everything would fall into place.

(I got excited about this role play again... can we continue? (: Every story needs an ending. )

[Guest]

It was too much to bear, almost. She could remember the feeling of Eric’s lips against hers, and his warm embrace as they lay in that bed together the afternoon before she’d left. Before she’d abandoned him… Before she’d screwed everything up. How could Eric forgive her? How cold have I become? I didn’t want to lose you by what I’d done. Leah shook her head and looked up as they reached the church. What was she going to do? Eric was in there… wasn’t he…? It was too much. It was now. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Gulping past the giant lump that was forming in her throat, Leah managed to mutter to Jason,

“Go on in, I’ll be inside in a few minutes,” Leah plopped herself down on the stairs, resting her chin in the palm of her hands. She wanted to run away again. She wanted to run away and let Matthew capture and kill her. End her suffering. She’d done so many things that she’d meant to be a good thing at first…and somehow, they’d gone completely awry. And now she’d lost the only boy she’d ever loved…and ever would love. It was stupid… Why’d she have to be so stupid!? As soon as Jason was away from her, Leah collapsed. She wouldn’t run away; she’d just go away for a few hours. Pushing herself up, she stumbled a few steps before giving up on herself. She could barely walk a few steps.

Slipping back to the ground, Leah hid herself from the doors of the church and curled up into a ball, allowing the tears to flow freely down her cheeks. She wanted this madness to end. She didn’t want to ever wake up from a peaceful slumber again. But how would she do that without it going unnoticed? Curling into a tighter ball, Leah’s body shuddered every now and again with racking sobs, and she lost care of the people who walked past that gave her either sympathetic or disgusted looks.

[Spritz]

The ride back to the church hadn't been very lengthy, but it had seemed to take ages. Thoughts of Leah were heavy on Eric's mind, as he nervously wondered where she had taken off to, and if she was alright. Having seen Jason and her talking together, Eric trusted that she was safe, but he just couldn't be sure anymore.. not after what had nearly happened to her. Even if he couldn't admit it to himself, there had been something very rare, special between the two of them. He yearned to feel the firey spark of passion once again, but when it came he quickly dulled it with the realization that she had left him.. and if he fell for her, it would just break his heart all over again. And that, was somethingn he couldn't let happen.

The opening of a door caught his attention, helping to snap him out of wonderful, yet painful memories that seemed to haunt his very soul. Jason was standing there, holding the heavy church door open and talking to somebody just out of Eric's range of sight. A few words were exchanged, the teenager's heart starting to quickly beat faster as he recognized the soft, almost hesitant voice of Leah. The tone she held immedietly let him know something was wrong, and as Jason gave a nod and shut the door Eric pushed himself the best he could off of the low cot. He wasn't supposed to be walking yet, but that didn't make any difference to the determined, frustrated teenager. After resting against the wall a moment to regain his balance, the boy managed to stagger towards the door leading outside; leading to Leah.

Jason reguarded him with a cool expression, one that came off as slightly haughty. He watched Eric for a moment, not making any move to help him along. Standing directly in Eric's way, the boy was forced to make his way around the pastors son with a glare and a shove. Glancing behind him once, he turned burning, crackling black eyes on Jason, a stare that clearly meant he wanted to be left alone when talking to Leah. With that, Eric pushed the heavy door wide open and stepped into the warm sunshine and fresh, cool air.

Slowly turning in a semi circle, Eric glanced warrily aroundf for leah. He didn't see her at first, but soon his sharp eyes caught sight of her hunched figure, shoulders sagging and hands covering her face. Before he knew what he was doing, Eric moved to her side, kneeling down next to her and lacing a gentle, caring hand on her shoulder. The touch was firm, sending a shock up his arm and threatening to bring back the amazing, painful memories they had once shared together. "You alright?" Looking back to the door, Eric's eyes narrowed. "That guy didn't hurt you, did he?" His voice was strained, sounding taught and foced. She was crying, tears cascading down her smooth cheeks. the occasional stranger walking past eyed the two warrily, and a few crossed to the other side of the street in order to stay away from the pair.

This reminded the teenage boy of the first time he had met this girl, this beautiful creature that understood him better than he did himself, this amazing person that he still loved, always would love; even if he didn't know it himself. His strong hand slid to her other shoulder, as he leaned down and wrapped his arms around her, in turn providing a comforting embrace. Resting his chin on her head, he stroked her hair softly and took in a deep breath; holding it in his lungs for a few moments before slowly letting it out.
"It's alright. I'm here."

(<3)

[Guest]

Leah ignored the footsteps she heard that were coming closer, though she could immediately tell whose they were from the staggering sound of them. Shuffle, step, pause; shuffle, step, pause. She jumped slightly when she felt an arm over her shoulders, having not expected the gesture whatsoever. But that meant…Eric didn’t hate, right? When she heard him ask her if she was all right, she almost blurted out, ‘What do you think!?’ but her tears only allowed her a muffled grunt as she let herself relax slightly.

She was still so upset that she’d caused him this much pain… And now look at him! She was afraid that he’d nearly died… She’d visited him in the hospital, but it wasn’t like the other times. They didn’t curl up on the bed together and sleep. They didn’t share loving kisses and talk for hours on end. They didn’t act like themselves. All Leah wanted now was to have what she had once before. But when she really thought about it, deep down inside she knew that it wasn’t worth hoping for. She’d left Eric, and, if anything, she’d have to be the one who went running back to him, and she wasn’t sure how he’d react to that. In all honesty, she was scared of what he’d do or say. She didn’t want the negative, so she pushed the ideas from her head, but she still thought about them on a seemingly endless basis.

When he wrapped his arms around her in a more comforting way, Leah leaned into him, letting the tears of all the regret and hatred and fear flow freely. She was regretting what she’d done; she hated Matthew for what he’d done; and she was fearful that she might have lost the love she once had forever. When he said he was there, Leah’s heart skipped a beat. The warm embrace of his arms was all too familiar, and it brought back bittersweet memories. She’d left for a good reason: she hadn’t wanted him to get hurt. She left because she knew all she’d do was attract trouble; especially since her father was…well, her father. He wouldn’t rest until he found and punished her to the point she might as well be considered the living dead. She had wanted to protect Eric from that…to protect his heart from the heartache it would be put through if she had been taken away and never given the chance to see him again.

It was a twisted Romeo and Juliet, where both of them had drank the poison, yet both of them had miraculously lived…but at this point, she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. “I’m so sorry, Eric…” Leah murmured as the thoughts of what they used to be passed through her eyes. Leah had so much more to say to him, but the tears were making it hard for her to get a decent amount of air in her lungs. As soon as the tears stopped flowing (which seemed like hours later, but it was only a short 20 minutes), Leah moved her head so that she could look up at him properly.

“I’m sorry, Eric. I left because…I thought I was doing the right thing. I was trying to protect you from this happening. I left because I knew my father would find me somehow and take me away from you. I was afraid that, if that had happened, it would’ve been a much worse experience—not to mention more painful—if I just suddenly disappeared and never returned, without giving you any warning. I left because… I was stupid. I’m not a god… but I acted as though I could change fate with one little action, when all I did was bring the roof crashing down.” With that, Leah paused momentarily before burying her face into the fabrics of his shirt, allowing the last few silent tears to slip out from behind her defenses.

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