Re: Trustless [ Reserved ]

[LoveOnHerArms]

Watching silently Matt stood back up and rubbed the back of his neck as Ryan ran over to Sam and hugged her legs until she picked him up and set him on her lap. She looked amazing but with Ryan on her lap? Something in Matt's chest shifted leaving him breathless for a moment unable to move or heck think. He snapped out of it when Ryan asked him why he wasn't hugging Sam either. Swallowing he looked at the little boy trying to find the words to tell him with out telling him that Matt was a monster and his mommy was scared of him.

Sam jumped in and saved him but what she said felt like another slap to the face. He knew she was only trying to help, but it still stung reminding him that he would never really be apart of Sam's life again. "Right.." He mumbled softly looking at Sam and Ryan still on the other side of the coffee table. Ryan didn't seem to like that answer and kicked angrily on Sam's lap, she put him down telling him not to kick on her lap. Ryan seemed to ignore her and toddled back to Matt and looked up at him. Asked the question yet again, letting out a sigh Matt looked down at his son as he picked at the carpet siting at his feet. Squatting back down Matt looked at his son, then over at Sam. She wasn't going to help him with this one, half of him wished she would the other half was glad she wasn't going to say anything to make him feel more of a complete ass.

"Mommy and daddy are...." He trailed off sighing again glancing over at Sam before looking back at Ryan, hoping he could think of something to say but nothing came but the truth 'Sam was scared of him, and was still angry with him' He couldn't tell that to a two year old it just seems wrong of him. Looking back over at Sam he met her gaze and for once in a long time she didn't look away, but held his gaze for a moment, the look in her eyes was clear, she needed a hug, a real comforting hug. She was keeping the walls up, but from the look in her eyes they looked like they were starting to crumble in not just a little bit.

Letting out a breath and running a hand through his hair Matt looked back down at Ryan, who was picking at his shoelaces. Straightening back up he looked over at Sam, blue eyes pleading with her not to freak out on him, he was doing this for Ryan and for herself. Walking over to her he looked in her eyes. "It'll be ok" He whispered under his breath, and took a chance, one that if it ended badly he wouldn't see his son ever again but there was a small chance it would work.

Before he backed down Matt moved closer to Sam and gently pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her, keeping them up against her back and shoulder blades but he hugged her. Closing his eyes for a moment Matt savored everything how she smelled, how she felt against him how she just felt in his arms. " I promise I won't hurt you again Sam, I know you may never trust me again but I'll try to get it back until I die" He whispered softly into her ear.

[Guest]

Sam looked into his eyes as he searched hers. It was the first time she’d been able to keep his gaze…and she realized it didn’t bother her, though she was still scared out of her wits of him. She just didn’t want to get hurt again… she knew that if she had proof Matt would never dare think of hurting her again, she’d trust him like she used to. If only…if only she had proof. Words weren’t enough to back up and erase the pain he’d caused her. If he ever wanted to make it up to her… Well, Sam wasn’t even sure what he could do to revive their trust. She guess she’d know when the time came, but at the moment, nothing came to mind.

She looked at him as he tried speaking to Ryan. Ryan looked up at Matt; the youngster was obviously confused. Ryan stopped picking with Matt’s shoelaces and stared his father in the eyes, young cerulean eyes curious. It hurt Sam terribly to know how innocent Ryan was. He had no idea what Matt had done, and if she ever told him, she knew Ryan would live in regret knowing he was the child of force—and, in simpler yet cruder terms, a child his mother had never wanted. Of course now Sam’s view had changed. She loved Ryan with all her heart and wanted Ryan in her life. But how would a teenager, or even a younger child, ever accept the fact they were of rape? She was afraid that if he ever knew about it, it’d ruin him.

Ryan had a bright future, she knew. Even at the age of two, he was learning faster than any child she knew… probably from Matt’s side of the gene pool. Sam had always admired Matt’s intelligence. She’d often found herself at his house asking for help with petty questions in math or history, that she should’ve been able to answer herself. Either she was too tired to think, or she just wanted an excuse to talk to Matt. He always accepted helping her, though, and whether or not he was annoyed (or saw the fact she’d had a major crush on him) was never clear to Sam. She’d never been able to read him like he had been able to read her. And she was afraid he still could read her.

Sam tensed when she saw the look in his eyes. She knew he was going to do something—what, she wasn’t completely sure of—and she couldn’t freak out because Ryan was right there, now grabbing the chip bowl and plopping onto the floor, eating them rather messily. Sam wasn’t looking forward to vacuuming afterwards. But he was a toddler—they made messes by default. When Matt told her it’d be okay, Sam frowned. She wasn’t upset with the words, merely confused. Did he mean it? Was she safe from any harm from him? Was he just saying that so Ryan wouldn’t worry? Was he just saying that so she wouldn’t worry?

When he pulled her into a hug, Sam stiffened immediately, but after a moment she relaxed. She brought her arms up to her chest and rested her head against his shoulder. She wasn’t sure why she was letting herself let go like this…but at the same time, she did. She couldn’t take all the pain by herself, and she knew that… It’s just that her parents would never understand, and neither would Matt’s parents. Matt had done this to her, and she knew, deep inside her mind, that he had gone through about as much pain and regret as she had. In all honesty, he was the only one that understood. And the only one that ever would understand.

In the back of her mind she was reminded how she’d always wanted this: his embrace, a nice house, and a child… If only they’d been married. Then…well, then, nothing would be able to interrupt the love she’d once had for him. Making up her mind on the fly, Sam commented quietly, “I don’t trust you anymore, Matt… but I’m willing to give you a second chance.”

[LoveOnHerArms]

Sam stiffened in his arms but Matt didn't care, she was in his arms, thats all that mattered at the moment. Slowly she relaxed into him, letting him hold her, her head on his shoulder Matt wanted badly to tilted his head a little and kiss the top of her head but stopped himself. Baby steps she was letting him hug her, that was huge for Sam and Matt knew it.

Letting out a breath Matt closed his eyes letting her words sink in, she didn't trust him but was giving him a second chance. Relief washed over the young man as the weight that had been on his shoulders for years lifted, not all the way but enough so he felt like he wasn't getting crushed under it. It would take time for the weight to completely leave and Matt knew that. He wasn't sure how long he held her but finely Matt slowly let her go and smiled slightly down at her "Thats all Im asking for Sam" He told her softly looking down at her before looking down at the little boy eating chips and making a great big mes in the processes.

Chuckling Matt stepped away from Sam giving her some space and knelt down beside Ryan " You little man are making quiet a mess" He ruffled the little boys soft hair with a bigger smile, Sam was giving him a second chance, this time he wasn't going to mess it up, he was going to be there for her and their son. Running a hand through his hair he looked down at Ryan as he still ate chips happily.


(Gack! Sorry! I couldn't think of what to say with out rambling)

[Guest]

Sam thought quietly to herself. What was she doing!? Was he just trying to gain her trust so he could violate her again? Did he just want to finish the perverse crime he’d committed almost 3 years ago? And Sam knew even if he did, she’d never bring herself to get him arrested once and for all. She hated herself for it, but she knew there was one miniscule piece to her shattered heart that had not been replaced. And it was that one, microscopic piece that still held a place for Matt in her heart. When he let go and spoke softly to her once more, Sam parted her lips slightly as if to say something, then stopped and nodded her head numbly.

As she watched him with Ryan, she felt the place in her heart grow a little bigger. It pained her to see his perfect smile again. Especially now that Ryan was around. Sam moved silently into the hallway, staring longingly out the window. Every thought of fear, suicide, hatred, and violation that she’d felt the moment she had known she was pregnant came rushing back to her. The thoughts and emotions hit her like a train, and Sam plopped herself down on the floor, forehead pressed against the window.

All he wanted was a second chance. Why was it so hard to give him that? Closing her eye, she could remember the feeling of his arms around her waist, his chest to her back, as she tried to run off with his homework or important essays just to get him to pay attention to her. She remembered the laughter and all-nighters that they had, wrestling and daring each other to do the most absurd of things. Most of the time Sam hadn’t even done the dares—but Matt hadn’t seemed to care. He seemed to have liked to see her pleasure when he did the ridiculous dares (one of them—Sam’s favorite—being Matt going up to the old lady’s house next door to their old apartment, in his boxers, and pretend to be a British Hanes salesmen). When she opened her eyes, hot tears were streaming down her face.

“Where did those days go?” Sam whispered to herself, her heart breaking a little more “I miss him. I miss the old Matt. I wish I could go back—” Sam’s words were cut short by the tears that refused to cease flowing, and Sam curled up in the corner of the room, the window’s light the only thing illuminating her tears.

[ Ranting/rambling is fine. The more detail the better! Sorry mine is so short… If you want, you can have Matt catch the last part of what she was saying. From "I miss him" to "go back." If you want to. Doesn't have to be like that. It was a random moment of random inspiration, lol. ]

[LoveOnHerArms]

Kneeling down beside his son Matt smile watching Ryan still eating his chips messily. "Alright little man, I think you've had enough" He took the bowl from him and scooped the little boy up in his free arm. "Lets get this mess picked up for mommy" He wasn't trying to step over lines or anything, he was just trying to help her out. Walking into the kitchen holding Ryan he set the bowel on the counter then looked at Ryan "Why don't we go plat?" He asked walking back out of the kitchen only to spot Sam at the end of the hall against the window getting a small frown from him. He walked back into the living room and set Ryan back on the ground.

He was going to ask what Ryan wanted to play but he barley caught the words from Sam still curled up in the corner of the room. "You keep playing little man" He ruffled his hair and walked over to Sam kneeling sown beside her. She was crying...hard curled up. Matt wasn't good with emotional women at all was he, they scared him a little, they were like a ticking time bomb you didn't know when they would blow. But this was Sam, it was different with her. All his old girlfriends would get upset with him, about spending so much time with another girl but he always tried explaining to them, that it was just Sam. So after a while he just didn't date anyone to save himself from the fights with girlfriends about Sam, after a while their families started saying that they were just a couple and would ask Matt were his 'girl' was.

"Hey...it's still me Sam, I've just...grown up a little" He said in a soft tone, he was pushing his luck greatly but took a chance and slipped a arm around her, and slowly pulled her into him a little. " It's ok to cry Sparkles" He muttered softly closing his eyes for a moment.

He hadn't called her that in what felt like a lifetime ago, he gave her that nickname when they were still just kids, anything that sparkled you would always find Sam there, the more glitter and sparkle the better, and well because her eyes used to sparkle when she was happy or excited about something. Letting out a breath he sat down and slowly pulled her more into his arms holding her to him again as she cried. He couldn't fix everything he had done in one night and he knew it but he was starting to fix everything or trying too. "Im back Sam...Im here now"

(It's alright hun )

[Guest]

Sam heard the talking in the other room but let it slip from one ear to the other. Poor Ryan… Sam knew she’d never be able to tell her beloved son that his father had treated her in a monstrous way. Ryan was squealing in delight at Matt and continued to grab some chip remains off of the floor and stuff them greedily into his mouth. Through it all, Sam’s wandering mind vaguely heard footsteps coming down the hallway. When she felt arms pulling her closer to an uncomfortably familiar warmth, she stiffened out of instinct.

When she heard his words, she only cried harder, yet still silently. She heard him say “Sparkles” and her heart stopped momentarily. After a few minutes of silence, staring at the fabrics of his shirt, passed by at an excruciatingly slow pace. So… maybe he had changed. Maybe he had grown up. God, she hoped so. She couldn’t afford to be raped again. Not now. She was already struggling enough with life. She was already ready to give up. Sam was too close to ending all her suffering now.

These thoughts and emotions made everything worse. No longer could Sam take it, and she clung to Matt, sobbing into his shirt, hiding her face from. She was silently cursing her for her cowardice. Oh, how she wished things could change… She needed him in her life solely for the reason that Ryan was in desperate need of a father. Someone to teach him the ropes of being a man, of playing football, wrestling… Everything that little boys could never get from their mothers. She couldn’t do this on her anymore, and she knew it.

Sam clutched his shirt, sobs shaking her body every now and again. It took a good ten minutes before the tears stopped flowing. A few tears still slipped down her cheeks, nevertheless. Sam curled up into Matt and let herself go. She’d been destroying herself from the inside out ever since that fateful night. Sam whispered quietly, nearly inaudibly, “I’m so scared, Matt. I can’t do this alone anymore. I want Ryan’s life to be the best it can possibly be. I’m too scared to do anything anymore! I can’t even find a job…” Sam trailed off for a moment, before continuing in a voice that was even quieter, “I just can’t do it anymore.”

[LoveOnHerArms]

Slowly Matt pulled her into him, praying she wouldn't pull away. She stiffened up that was it, letting out a breath Matt sat on the floor gathering the girl into his arms, just holding her as she cried, it felt like they were teens again, Matt holding Sam as she cried against his chest, about a boy that hurt her or a fight she had with her parents. Holding her to him Matt kissed the top of her head softly murmuring a few words as her tears fell. If only he could go back and fix everything, she wouldn't be so scared of him and her life would be better. They would ave gotten married and had Ryan then, life would be better then now.
Sure Sam was the one that got raped but Matt was the one that did it too her, hurt her so badly. It ate at him every minuet of his life knowing what he did, drunk or not the face she saw in nightmares about it was his.

She had seemed to slowly stop crying , pulling herself together only to suddenly cling to him sobbing into his shirt soaking it with her tears, holding her tighter to him, he rubbed her back gently. "Shhhh it's alright Sam" He whispered softly holding her to him, petting her hair softly now. God it killed him to see her in this much pain, it used to kill him inside but now? It felt worse, he wanted to fix everything take away the pain that he caused, make everything right for her.

Petting her hair softly Matt looked down at the trembling girl that was in his arms clutching his wet from tears shirt, he saw there holding her for what felt like hours but it had been only ten minutes or so before her tears started to slowly stop. He though she would stiffen up and shove him away, it took him by surprise when she just curled herself into him. Ears straining to hear her whisper Matt's grip on her tightened as she talked. "Yes, you can Sparkles you can do this" He whispered back taking a chance again and kissing the top of her head. "I know your scared and I'd give up my life it I could take everything back that I did that night but you can't let that hold you back sweetheart. You can do this, your so much stronger then you think" He looked down at her wiping some tears away, pain in his eyes as he saw everything he had done to her.

"Have you gone to a shrink or anything?" He asked gently Matt himself ended up going to one for some help with what he did, and he had helped him greatly from thinking about killing himself all the time to trying to help Sam and get to know his son. The demons were still there eating at him, but he was fighting back now.

" I know it sounds crazy but it helps. Im here now Sam, I know it's not a excuse but I was so wasted that night, I don't remember hardly anything of that night, it wasn't me...." He voice caught as he looked down at her. There was so much more he wanted to say but looking down at her face the words got caught in his throat.

[Guest]

[ I’ll reply to ‘Soldier Coming Home’ soon. ^^ I’m just having a bad day and this RP tends to fit my mood. I’m practically braindead, but I’ll do my bestest! ]

Sam listened to him speak. Every word that fell from his lips seemed to comfort her in a way that she never would’ve expected. He seemed genuinely sincere in his apologies, but it only made Sam wonder more about what he was doing. Was he kissing up to her? Or was he actually, actually sincere about this? She was afraid of him, no doubt. It’d taken so much out of her that she’d nearly committed suicide. She’d tried it once, in all honesty, but her parents had found out and rushed her to a hospital before she’d died. Though through it all, she had to have CPR twice to be saved from the tragedy she’d done to herself. She never knew if her mother told Matt about it, but at this point, Sam was wondering if it really even mattered.

Sam ignored the name Sparkles the second time he’d said it. She was so incredibly tired now…all the tears she’d shed, all the things she’d said, and all the things Ryan had said. He was innocent… like she had been. But she’d had that all taken away from her in a matter of minutes. Shuddering, Sam allowed him to pull her in closer. It felt right, and Sam hated it. She hated it so very much. Why was she letting herself go so easily? Something in the back of her mind told her that it was because of the fact she’d loved him. Maybe even after the incident, she’d loved him. Her mother often told her she was being ridiculous and that she obviously still had feelings for Matt…After all, Ryan was nearly the spitting image of his father.

Pushing the thoughts aside, Sam kept her eyes open as long as she could, listening to every word he said. He was trying to be comforting, she knew, and she nearly bolted upright when she felt his lips atop her head. It wasn’t a welcome feeling to her quite yet. She couldn’t help but thinking this is what she wanted… She had wanted to be in his arms every night, to curl up to him in bed and share the love she’d been saving for him until he’d decided to let her in.

Apparently his idea of letting her “in” was by forcing her into a position where she was rendered helpless—and hopeless. Sam sighed, once he was finished, and closed her eyes. She didn’t say anything for a few minutes, but when she decided to talk, she decided it’d be best if each word was meaningful. “I used to love you,” Sam whispered, wondering how he’d react to her confession. “I used to hope we could have this, if only it was in a different way. I want to forgive you, but I just can’t. Not when I see Ryan every day of my life. I’ve never forgotten about you. Not a day has passed when you haven’t crossed my mind. I wish I could change it, as well. But we can’t. So what’s the point in trying?”

[LoveOnHerArms]

Matt winced a little when she nearly jumped out of his lap when he kissed the top of her head, ok so that wasn't the smartest more. Letting out a breath he looked down at her and loosened his grip around her just a little, he was pushing it big time and didn't want to mess things up more then he already had.

Looking down at her Matt frowned slightly waiting for anything, for her to blow up on him, cry again or just do something. Finely she whispered softly, listening Matt's chest tightened . She loved him, well hell then why hadn't she said anything way back when? Letting out a breath he looked down at her "How about for Ryan? Try for Ryan. You don't have to forgive me, maybe some day you will but right now, just try because somewhere in there I know the real Sam is in there, and she hated giving up and loosing, from a bored game to sports" His tone was gently but she was really starting to get the young man worried, had he really hurt her that bad? That she wasn't even the same person anymore?

"And for the record I loved you too, why else did you think I let you drag me to parties and all that?" He asked looked down at her then at the wall for a moment. "What I did is in the past, we can't change it no matter how bad we want to, we've got to work with what we have. And Im not going to let you give up Sam" He looked back down at her. Honestly he wanted her to get mad, too scream and yell at him just let all that anger out that she was holding in.


(Good gravy.....It sucks....sorry >.< )

[Guest]

Sam held onto the words, remaining quiet for a few minutes afterwards. He was right: of course when she was younger she never would’ve settled for losing. She would have played again and again and again until she’d won. But now…ever since that night, she’d given up on trying. Winning lost its meaning when she’d lost the only life she’d ever known or wanted to know. She couldn’t even picture what life would’ve been like had all this not happened. Her chocolate brown orbs looked back down the hallway to see a completely oblivious Ryan, who was munching on chips and picking crumbs up off the floor and putting them back into the chip bowl, looking like he was doing a great service to the household.

“For Ryan,” Sam repeated quietly. Her heart nearly stopped when she heard him say that he’d love her, as well. So...he had loved her, and she’d missed her one chance at happiness. Sam pondered showing him the journal she’d kept entries in up until the day Ryan was born. Most of the entries before the incident were about the little things that Matt had said or done that she found funny, sweet, or troubling. The other half of the entries (when she’d just met and was getting to know Matt) were about how she knew she was falling for him and everything she loved about him—which was pretty much everything.

She wrote a heart-wrenching, 3-page entry when she’d ran home that night after Matt had assaulted her. All entries after that were predominantly about the pain of pregnancy; the migraines, the morning sicknesses, and the awful mood swings (which mainly consisted of either deep and unrelenting depression or a burning regret). And suddenly Sam felt angry.

She’d invited him to so many parties that did have alcoholic beverages, and he’d never, ever gotten drunk. She’d never regulated how much he drank, either. Matt had always been responsible in that aspect. So why then? When she wasn’t present? Why? Suddenly pulling herself away from him—thouhj not completely—she stared him in the eyes. Even now, he still had the traces of that respectable honors-student that she’d known back in high school.

Gaze hardening, she commented quietly, “Why? I know I dragged you to all those parties… 99% of them had drinks! You never…you never got drunk before. Why then!? Where had you even gone!? I…” Sam stopped short and curled back up, resting in his arms and letting tears fall freely again. She had loved him…she had, more importantly, trusted him. The Sam in high school had loved openly, never harboring grudges or anger. She never feared anything. And now…? Now she was numb to most emotions and feared a hundred too many things. Clutching his shirt and burying herself deeper in his arms, she managed to choke between sobs, “I…I trusted you…”

[LoveOnHerArms]

Looking down at her arms loose around her waist Matt nodded as she almost breathed out the words. He wondered what she was thinking about as she sat silently in his lap, honestly the young man was still surprised she was sitting in his lap and moments ago she had been clinging to him, maybe he wasn't as much as a monster as he though. But he doubted it. Shifting a little so he was leaning against the wall legs stretched out in front of him slightly bent at the knee with Sam still sitting down leaning against his chest lightly.

Looking down at her Matt felt her stiffen up against him and wondered if she was getting angry or gearing up for another cry. Her gaze hardened looking at him, a look that Matt hadn't seen in years, the look that most guys would run from. Swallowing he looked down at her as she asked why he drank and got wasted at that one night. The angry was a shot burst, she stopped short and curled back up into him letting tears fall freely again. Swallowing Matt tightened his hold around her and let out a breath closing his eyes.

The one night Sam wasn't with him, he got wasted at a party a friend had. Why he got drunk still burned in his mind. Looking down at the girl that was sobbing into his chest Matt lightly rubbed her back. He opened his mouth but when she choked out that she had trusted him. It felt like a sucker punch in the stomach, sighing he looked down at Sam. " I-I know Sam...I-Im sorry" His voice caught as he tried to find the words to explain to her what he had gotten so wasted that night, but nothing was coming out at the moment. Gently he smoothed back her hair and rested his chin on the top of her head, mumbling soothing words as she sobbed into his chest rubbing her back gently.

Starring that the other wall Matt opened his mouth to speak, his voice was soft and catching at moments but he had to try and explain to her, she deserved that and so much more. "I...I had just found out my dad had been cheating on mom, it had been like a punch in the lip, after all the talks and lectures I got from him about when I dated a girl I was supposed to treat her right and not cheat on her, when he had been sleeping around..." He trailed off and closed his eyes for a moment. "Then the soccer scholarship I was hoping for fell through, and I saw you kissing that Kenny Blake..." Letting out a breath he looked down at her. " I just wanted to be numb, so I got drunk...I know it still doesn't cover up what I did to you but-..." He trailed off and shook his head.

[Guest]

Sam saw the momentary flash of fear in his eyes when she looked at him angrily, but she had quickly dug her face back into the fabrics of his shirt to care about how long that look had stayed in his eyes. She wasn’t in the mood to care. All she really wanted was an accurate explanation. Something had been bugging him…It had to have been. Matt had always been so responsible… He had always been more responsible than she had, at least. Matt had always helped her find school textbooks, “lost” homework, and help her take notes for tests and quizzes. She’d loved him so much. He was a help to her, and even if she wasn’t very helpful to him besides her companionship (which she felt had never really been enough for him), he accepted her without complaint. Though he did often whine about how she shouldn’t tell him how to treat his car.

When he apologized for breaking her trust, Sam sniffed and the tears stopped for a few moments, silently trickling down her cheeks and onto the material of his shirt. Letting her tears dry, Sam snuggled up closer to him, ignoring the fact that he could really do whatever he wished to her right at that moment, and tried to bring herself to trust that he wouldn’t hurt her again—he seemed to be trying so desperately to prove that he wouldn’t. Why not give him a second chance? Her mother had always pleaded with her to forgive him and let him back into her life, but she’d always been to stubborn and scared to listen to her beloved mother. Like Matt had mentioned earlier, she should let him back in and give him another chance, if for no other reason than Ryan. Closing her eyes, Sam listened to him talk.

When he said something about his father cheating on his mother, her eyes snapped open. She had had no idea…! Now that she listened deeper, she found it harder and harder to believe that it was his fault. She had been so oblivious to him… She opened her mouth and commented quietly, “Maybe your dad was telling you that because he felt guilty about ‘sleeping around.’ It’s possible…” Sam stared at the color of his shirt as he continued talking about what had happened. She remembered vaguely the soccer scholarship going down in flames. She’d tried to comfort him as best as she could, but Sam had been self-centered and a bit too oblivious back in those days to know any better. She’d not given him as much comfort as she wish she had now. Sam’s heart skipped a beat when he finished it with Kenny Blake. The flashback of the black-haired teenager with his lip-piercing and outgoing attitude made Sam shudder.

It was her turn to explain that, now. “Blake. Always called him Blake. He didn’t like the name ‘Kenny.’ He was constantly complaining to me about it. But I listened…” Sam shook her head and sighed deeply. “The only…the only reason I ever kissed Kenny was because… I felt empty. I was afraid you’d never love me. I…I just let go. Or I tried to. I sought comfort in Kenny but all he wanted was my body. I didn’t expect him to go that far. He stole my first kiss. I didn’t think I minded it at the time. I thought that maybe he would really love me if time worked its ‘magic.’ I guess I was wrong. I’m so sorry, Matt… That wasn’t meant for you to see. I didn’t even know it was going to happen until it did. It probably looked bad from the outside. I never meant to hurt you like that.”

She listened intently as he finished the miniature speech, and she whispered quietly, “You know…it doesn’t. But that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to give you a second try. It’s going to take some time. But I’ll try and be kinder. I never gave you the companionship you needed when we were in high school. I feel bad about it now.” Sam looked up and planted a tentative kiss on his jaw before cuddling back up to him and closing her eyes.

[ my imagination ‘sploded! :D ]

[LoveOnHerArms]

Holding onto her Matt looked at the wall, after he got done talking to her about everything that had happened to lead up to that nightmare of a night that he was the monster in. Shaking his head lightly Matt looked down at her as she started explaining why she had kissed Kenny, or as he liked to be called Blake, yeah that meant nothing to Matt what he liked to be called. Sighing he shook his head again with a faint smile "Guess I should have told you thats I loved you back then huh? And i never meant to hurt you either" He wanted to touch her again well more then he already was but thats wasn't a go idea at the moment.

Holding onto her a little tighter Matt smiled faintly as she talked, he was going to give her a second chance at this and she would be kinder to him, not that it really mattered to Matt that she was nicer or not to him, she was giving him a second chance and thats all that mattered to him. She kissed him on the jaw, and that got a bigger smile from Matt as she cuddled into him more. Holding onto her tighter he rested his chin on the top of her head and let out a breath. "You were a great friend back in high school Sam, don't beat yourself up about it" He mumbled chin resting on the top of her head.

Looking over at Ryan he smiled a little bit more watching his son play happily by himself.

"What happens now Sam?" He asked still not moving from his spot on the floor, holding onto her tighter, as she sat between his legs cuddled to him.


(Blah! Sorry it's not that good)

[Guest]

[ Nah, it’s fine! ]

Sam shrugged slightly, staring into the back of her eyelids. She was surprised by how easily she’d let go of everything she’d worked on for the past 2 and a half years. She’d tried so hard to stay away from him…but deep inside her heart she’d always known that she still loved him, and staying apart from him was really only hurting herself, and Ryan. The poor boy needed a father… But Sam had been so utterly afraid that Matt would hurt her again. Sam couldn’t afford to have another child. She could barely juggle things as they were at the moment. Dealing with Matt had only meant to her heartache and trouble. Now that she looked on it all, she realized it was a stupid assumption. Her mother had frequently told her that Matt had apologized, and stayed up all night the night Ryan was born, frequently calling in on her mother to see how Sam was doing. Sam even remembered her mom getting up and leaving the room to go call somebody about the baby, but Sam didn’t know who it was until a few months after Ryan was born.

But now, with his arms around her, Sam realized that she wasn’t as afraid as she thought she’d been. The wounds would still take time to heal, but she knew that, in time, she and Matt had a chance of getting back what they’d lost. Of course, it may not be as slow as it would’ve been if Sam had felt any different at the moment. All she wanted was to be held; that’s all she’d ever wanted, but her parents couldn’t help her with that. The only person who could ever make her feel the way she wanted to feel, loved and protected, was a man that loved her. And from the looks of things…Matt still loved her. It was encouraging to Sam to know that he’d bothered to wait. After all this time, he really had been very sorry, hadn’t he? Sam only opened her eyes when she heard the little pitter-patter of feet coming down the hall.

“I don’t know, Matt…I don’t want to ask anything else of you, but…I was wondering if making a schedule for who keeps Ryan when would be good? I’ve been having troubles keeping him with me all the time and trying to find a job…” As if on cue, Ryan toddled down the hall and flopped onto Sam’s midsection, clapping his hands happily. “Hello there, big boy.” Sam moved slightly and pulled Ryan close to her, resting her head on Matt’s chest.

“Mommy forgived Daddy, right?” Ryan asked, pulling on strands of Sam’s hair (which Sam didn’t complain about this time, like she usually would’ve). “Mommy and Daddy love each other, right?”

Sam stared at Ryan in the eyes for a moment, unsure of how to answer the boy’s question. For a toddler of only 2, he was so much more perceptive than Sam would have ever dreamed of. But the question if Matt and herself were still in love stumped her. She wanted to say yes, but if she did, what would Matt say? Would he think everything had just magically popped back into place like nothing had ever happened? And if she said no… would he just walk out and finally decide that it wasn’t worth it? Ruffling her son’s hair gently, Sam chuckled, “Of course, baby. Mommy and Daddy love each other very much.” Ryan giggled and curled up against his mother’s chest, yawning quietly before closing his eyes.

How was Matt going to respond to her answer? She hoped that he’d still realize she’d said that mostly because Ryan needed to hear that. Though deep down, Sam knew she still really did love Matt. And now, really, only time could tell whether the wounds would heal or not. But she felt safe now, for the first time in a very long time. She felt like Ryan, Matt, and herself were actually a family, and it brought a small smile to her lips.

[ MY MUSE FINALLY CAME BACK!! :D I’m so happy :3 ]

[LoveOnHerArms]

Eyes closed Matt relaxed visibly holding onto her, chin resting on the top of her head gently. He was surprised yet thrilled that she was starting to trust him again, it was going to be slow but it was a start and Matt felt like he was the one chasing the monsters now, not the other way again. And that was a good feeling for the young man.

The sound of little feet coming down the hall was a new sound but one that Matt was already loving. Looking down at Sam he smiled a lightly listening to her, a rush of pride and something else went through him as she talked, she was trusting him to watch their son, not only that she was trusting him to watch Ryan alone, he knew that was a big thing for Sam to do, letting Matt watch Ryan after everything. He didn't get a chance to talk about it more as Ryan plopped himself down into Sam's lap smiling and clapping looking up at them. Matt held onto Sam a little more as she held their son, it felt right to have Ryan in her lap while she was still snuggled into him, head on her chest.

Ryan asked a question that left the young man holding his tongue letting Sam answer that one, he wasn't about to tell the little boy that yes he indeed loved his mommy and was going to spent the rest of his life showing it. Luckily after a long pause Sam did answer the little boy, and told him, they did love each other, Matt let out a breath, he knew most of the reason she told him that was because the little boy needed to hear that, he didn't understand how he came to the world and Matt wasn't about to tell him.
Looking down at his little family Matt smiled more.

"I can watch Ryan when ever you need Sam, starting a schedule if fine with me" He assured her with a smile. He was tempted to kiss her on the head but stopped himself and just looked down at them, he was cramping up a little sitting on the floor for so long but he wasn't about to move, not when he had Sam and his son in his arms.

[Guest]

When Matt started talking, Sam listened intently. She wasn’t quite sure about what the schedule for taking care of Ryan would be yet, but she knew that they’d both figure it out later. It wasn’t like this was the last day they were going to talk…and though Sam wanted to let him get close to her again, she still had that nagging intuition of hers that kept telling her that she should stay away from him in case he tried to do something stupid again. It wasn’t going to be pretty if something back happened to her, with Ryan by her side. Sam knew that if he placed her in another helpless situation, she was screwed—literally and metaphorically. She couldn’t take care of two children now. She wanted to be able to eventually, but definitely not now. Shifting uncomfortably, Sam stroked Ryan’s hair very gently, trying to think out, in her mind, what she’d do about her damned cowardice.

“I don’t know yet,” Sam murmured, pushing herself away from him gently and getting to her feet, Ryan curled up in her arms. The poor boy was exhausted, it looked like… After all, Sam thought to herself as she glanced at the clock, it was an hour after Ryan usually had his nap. “We can talk about it in a few. I have to go put Ryan to bed for now.” Smiling gently, Sam added quietly, “Make yourself at home. You’ll be coming around a lot more now, it seems. Get familiar with the place, I guess.” Sam walked back down the small hallway, into the living room, then down another hallway, stopping and turning into the first door on the left.

Flicking on the light switch as she walked into the room, she was greeted by the blue-and-orange-dinosaur themed room of her little boy. She put Ryan down on the bed of his, pulling the covers up about him, before pondering what song to sing to him. She could tell Ryan was still awake, as he reached up and grabbed onto her shirt when she put him down and was about to get up and leave. She pushed down the side railings on his bed (that kept him from rolling off of his bed) and sat on the edge of his bed. She ran her hand over his still-baby-soft hair, humming a moment before singing to him quietly a lullaby that her mother used to sing to her every night when she was little. Up until Sam was 7, actually.

Sam had always loved singing, and had been told a thousand times that she had a great voice, but her stage-fright had kept her from singing publicly ever since she could remember. The only time she sang in public was at her friend’s party where they had a karaoke station, but even then she only did it because Matt had begged her to. She’d gotten an enormous applause after that, but she still refused to sing publicly—even after that.

As soon as the lullaby was over, Sam got up, pulled the railing back up, and left the room, turning off the light and closing the door silently behind her. Her hand still on the doorknob, she rested her forehead gently against the wood door, thinking. She had to go back out there and face Matt. In the back of her mind she wished that she was dreaming… That this was all a fantasy, and she wouldn’t have to be alone with Matt now. The words “be alone with Matt” made Sam shiver, and she was forced to bite back tears as memories from that fateful night came rushing back to her. And it didn’t help that she was standing right outside the door of the result of rape. Shaking her head, Sam knew she had to be strong, if only for her son. She’d labored for almost three years now trying to provide him with everything that he needed, and he needed a father. Reluctantly letting go of the doorknob, Sam made her way back down the hallway and looked over at Matt.

“I know it’s not much,” Sam said quietly, rubbing her arm for apparently no reason, “But it’s all I can get. Hope it’s suitable for you.”

[LoveOnHerArms]

Looking down at them Matt smiled lightly watching his son nuzzle himself more into Sam, yawning and looking like he was fighting sleep, the little boy did look tired and in need of a nap. Nodding he looked down at her and watched as she pushed away from him and got to her feet with Ryan curled in her arms. Getting to his feet Matt wanted to help but what could he do? She was already on her feet holding Ryan. Stretching with a soft groan Matt nodded "Alright..." He trailed off watching her walk into Ryan's room. Stretching again he looked around before walking back into the living room. Well this had gone better then he thought it would have, she was talking to him and letting him see their son. That was way better then he thought it would have gone.

Looking down at the floor where Ryan had crunched up chips Matt shook his head with a easy smile, might as well pick it up right? He went looking for a vacuum, finely finding it in the hall closet he tried to be as quiet as he could getting it out, plugging it in and cleaned that spot up before putting it all away. His mama taught him how to clean up after himself and most of the time Matt was good about keeping his place clean, or well to his clean that is. Once that was done he looked around before sitting back down on the couch and waiting for Sam to come back out, his insides were starting to knot up as he prayed she couldn't be scared now that Ryan was gone, she had been using him as a buffer, and now with him in bed it was only them.

Leaning back in the couch hands on his thighs Matt waited running a hand through his hair every now and then or rubbing the back of his neck. Finely she walked out and Matt gave her a faint smile, she looked scared about being alone with him still but he didn't blame her, not after what he did to her. Looking at her he frowned slightly at what she said "Sam, what are you talking about?" He asked confused not knowing what she was talking about at all.

(Blah sorry it's not the best)

[Guest]

Sam rubbed her arm nervously. “Well…” she murmured, “I thought that you’d be coming over a lot more often now…and…well my house isn’t the nicest, and I realize that and…I was just…I’m rambling. Sorry…” Sam shook her head and pulled some dark-chocolate brown hair behind her ear, smiling in a sort of apology. Sam didn’t know what to say. She was stunned she was talking to Matt… she was stunned she wasn’t crying anymore, and she was stunned she had actually invited him back into her life. She remembered the night he’d violated her so clearly in her mind whenever she looked at him, but for some reason, she couldn’t hate him. She never had hated him, she realized. She’d just been afraid that 1) it would happen again, and 2) that their friendship would never be the same…and that she’d mess up somehow. But when she thought about it, she realized it wasn’t her fault to begin with.

How do I tell him? Sam thought to herself. How do I tell him I still love him? How do I tell him I never stopped loving him? How do I tell him I wish we could just get married and start all over again? How do I tell him any of that…without bursting into tears again? Am I supposed to… show him with actions? Sam stopped her train of thought right there, looking like a deer in headlights. Actions? What could she possibly do that would show him that she missed him…? That she didn’t hate him…mostly because each time she saw Ryan she saw her love for Matt? Why was it so hard?! Sam stepped forward a few steps, stopping when she was right in front of him, looking up into his eyes.

Sam blinked once or twice before commenting quietly, “I…never hated you. I couldn’t hate you even if I wanted to hate you. And… I really don’t know how else to prove my feelings to you but through what I can show you.” Sam hugged him closely, burying her face in his chest and taking a deep and centering breath. She wanted to do this…definitely wanted show him how much she still cared. Moving her head back to look at him again, Sam stood on her tiptoes and whispered, “I love you,” before planting a kiss on his lips.

[bleh! Sorry it’s so short and ugly >> ]

[LoveOnHerArms]

Sitting up Matt looked at Sam frowning slightly confused about what she was saying and shook his head looking at her. She looked nervous like she wanted to be anywhere but in the same room with him. Listening he nodded slightly then shook his head with a faint grin on his lips. "The rambling is fine, you used to do that all the time and I see that hasn't changed. Don't worry about the house Sam it's fine really" He smiled a little more at the small smile she gave him. One day at a time, just take it slow, she's starting to relax around you don't screw it up

Sitting up more Matt watched her, his messy hair falling over his forehead and almost in his eyes as he watched her and tilted his head to the side a little, she had a funny look on her face, kinda like a deer in the headlights look. What on earth was going on in her head? "Sam...?" He asked slowly as she stepped closer to him, he was so confused about what was happening as she stood in front of him. Looking up at her he tilted his head to the side "Sam.....?" He asked again unsure and so confused about what was going on with this.

Looking up at her he staid silent now and listened to her, before he could open his mouth to tell her, she didn't have to prove or show him anything he got to his feet and suddenly she was hugging him, hard. Surprised and confused was the understatement of the year, she had her chest buried in his chest, his arms were out unsure if he should hug her or not, looking down at her surprised. His eyes widened when she got on tiptoes whispered that she loved him and kissed him. Matt was floored confused and so surprised, what he dying and no one was telling him? OR was the world ending? He didn't know either why suddenly Sam was hugging him hard saying she loved him and then was kissing him. Looking down at her surprised he slowly put his arms around her waist holding onto her loosely.

"I-I love you too Sam.." He tilted his head looking down at her "Am I dying and no ones telling me or is like the world ending in a week or something?" He asked in a confused and surprised tone but a light smile was on his lips as he looked down at her.

(Oh it's fine hun! Really)

[Guest]

Sam couldn’t help but blush when Matt mentioned how she used to be. Was it this easy for her to fall back into her old relationship with him? …of course not! Sam knew she’d snap if she was ever put in a situation where she and Matt were completely alone, in a place where she had little chance for escape. She’d probably do something dramatic—hit him or something. But there wasn’t anything she could do about it now, right? At least, not at this moment in time. Things were going rather smoothly… and hell! She’d just kissed him. When his arms wrapped around (loosely) her waist, she stiffened for a moment, feeling somewhat vulnerable in a position like that, but quickly adjusted and wrapped her arms around his torso in return.

“It’s…err… I… yes… I mean, no… You’re not dying. Or are you? …I mean, of course you aren’t…” Sam shook her head and blushed furiously. “Err, sorry… I just…” Sam took in a deep breath and closed her eyes, centering herself before she continued making a fool of herself, “That night…things changed for me. And not only because of you. When I found out I was pregnant, I hated you. I hated you with a burning passion… I thought I’d rip your throat out the next time I ever saw you, to be completely honest. But when Ryan was born, all of those mindsets changed. I was reminded of you every single time I looked into Ryan’s eyes. But I was also reminded that it could happen to me again…”

Sam shook her head and dropped her gaze, but she didn’t move from his loose embrace. “I held a grudge against you, for the hell of it, really. I had reason to, now that I look back on it. A very good reason, at that. But it’s hard to hate someone you love…someone you know you could never hate, no matter how much you wanted to. Ryan always asked about you. I’ve told him everything about you—and more. When Ryan was a baby I used to tell him about stories of us in high school… How I wanted to grow old with you, have a family of our own…” Sam’s heart caught in her throat and tears shimmered in her eyes, yet she refused to let them pour over. Pulling away from the embrace, Sam continued,

“I was just thinking about that. Just now. I never hated you; I never could hate you…and I wanted you to know that. I’ve been avoiding you for years, and that must make it look like I hate your guts. It did, didn’t it? Anyways…I digress. I didn’t know how else to show you that I didn’t hate you. I’m still not completely sure that I’m ready to be in a serious relationship…but I need you in my life because of my—our—son. He needs you more than he needs me.” Sam sniffled quietly. “I…” Sam shook her head again and stared at her feet. Even I need you.

[ (: thanks. This one’s a bit better, so hope you like it <3 ! I missed our roleplays, lol ]

[LoveOnHerArms]

Matt looked down at Sam completely shocked, concerned and so confused, his arms loosely around her waist. He wasn't going to hold onto her tightly like he used too until she was ready, he didn't want her to get upset with him, not after she was finely talking to him again, letting him spend time with their son and all in all being part in her lift, even if it was just a little. He smiled a little feeling her arms go around his torso.

Eyebrow raised Matt looked down at her as her cheeks flamed and she stuttered, like the time she met one of her favorite bands in person. "So I am dying....." He said slowly still looking down at her then chuckled deep in his chest as she told him he wasn't before taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, her cheeks still flaming red. Matt kept quiet he had spilled his guts out to her earlier and she had been quiet letting him say everything he needed too so he was going to stay quiet until she said her piece then he would talk but not until then.

Listening he nodding slightly as she went on, saying she hated him with a burning passion, not that the young man blamed her, what he had done too her....Matt shook his head slightly at himself warning himself not to go down that road again. Listening he let out a soft breath when she stepped out of his arms, shoving his hands into his pockets he shook his head again looking at her with blue grey eyes.

"Hey..." He said softly looking down at her, "I don't blame you one bit for hating me, I hated myself for months after that night. I should have tried harder too see you after you had Ryan, I could have done something or called you a million times but I didn't and thats my fault....I thought..." He tilted his head back letting out a breath "I thought that you'd be happier with out me, find a amazing guy get married and have more kids have a great life. I loved you so much that I was letting you go, to have a better life." Slowly he took a step closer and slowly took her chin gently in his hand and lifted her head up to look at him.

"I've always loved you Sam, through all those horrible girl bands you'd drag me too, parties, trips too the mall and everything else you dragged me too I did that all because I loved you. If I could take back that night I would. I won't push you into anything your not ready for, we'll take it turtle slow if thats what your comfortable with, I messed up once and Im not about to do that again with you. And trust me Ryan needs you more then you think, and I'll be here for him and you...." He trailed off looking in her eyes and let out a breath. He'd missed her soo much, everything about her from the littlest to the biggest things

"I need you just as much as Ryan needs me..."

(OH geez, Im sorry this isn't the best and I rambled on but there ya go)

[Guest]

Sam listened quietly, a smile crossing her lips at the mention of all the parties and “girl bands” she had definitely taken him to—and definitely noticed he wasn’t exactly thrilled to go. However, when he mentioned that he’d only done those things because he’d loved her, her smile faded. How had she been so oblivious to it all? How did she miss all those signs? Why did she get herself into a situation where Blake had kissed her, and where she’d inadvertently caused Matt’s drunkenness, and his raping of her? Was it really all her fault? Was it just the falling of dominoes, that had started with her one stupid decision and obliviousness to the love that Matt had so plainly displayed for her? Why?! Why couldn’t she have seen it…?

Sam pulled herself from her thoughts and chuckled when Matt said ‘turtle slow.’ It was so like him to say something like that…she remembered how he used to make her laugh and smile in a way no other person in the world ever could. She missed that. All she wished for now was that she hadn’t dropped contact with him for so long. If she hadn’t…maybe they’d be married now, and Ryan wouldn’t have had to live 3 whole years without a father figure. It wasn’t right for Sam to rip Matt away from Ryan’s life. Whether Ryan was the result of rape or not was no factor in the fact that Ryan needed a father. And that Sam couldn’t care for Ryan properly for much longer by herself. Sam looked up at him when he told her that Ryan needed her more than she thought, and his promise to be there for the small family of two—but now, it looked like it was a family of three.

Sam moved back towards him, wrapping her arms around his torso and resting her cheek on his chest. “I’m sorry I left you like that,” Sam murmured. “In all honesty… the night in the hospital when Ryan was born… I was wishing you were there. I was scared, and it was then that I realized I never stopped loving you, and never hated you. When I saw Ryan’s eyes for the first time, I was reminded of you. It’s impossible to let go of someone you love. Impossible. I’m sorry I ever tried.” Sam kept her head against his chest, reveling in his warmth, and not bothering to look up at him when she spoke. All she cared about now was the fact that he’d told her he’d never screw up with their relationship again, and that he’d be there for her and Ryan.

Things were going to be different from now…she could tell. But it was a good different, wasn’t it? She’d never have to fear for Ryan’s growing up safely, nor would she have to worry about being alone. Her fear of him was still there…but it was smaller. Definitely smaller. And now she wouldn’t have to fear him as much. They were going down a different path this time—a good path. It’d lead to a great reward in the end, she was sure of it.

[ O_O DAAAANG I failed. Sorry! ]

[LoveOnHerArms]

Hands shoved back into his pockets Matt watching Sam silently as she seemed consumed in her thoughts, he knew that face and also knew not to say anything while she was that consumed in her thoughts. Letting out a breath he rolled back his shoulders and gave a faint grin when she seemed to come out of it and look back at him. What she did next surprised him, apparently she was just full of surprises today. She wrapped her arms around his torso and rested her cheek on his chest.

Slowly he wrapped his arms back around her and held onto her, it wasn't a tight embrace it was more gentle and warm. Looking down at her Matt listened and chuckled softly, leaning down a little and gave a soft light kiss on the top of her head. "How about we try and put the past behind us? We've both screwed up but were here now, thats all that matters right?" He chuckled again and shook his head with a light easy smile looking down at her. "You got me sounding all fortune cookie" He teased gently and kissed the top of her head again before squeezing her gently. "Now can we get some food? Im starving and we need to talk about Ryan right?"

The young man was getting really hungry and well he didn't want Sam to start crying again, the first time was bad enough for him, he wasn't sure what he'd do if she started crying all over again, when he knew over half the reason she cried was because of him, and not in a good way. So switching topics sounded like a good plan and well so did food. Letting go of her he smiled easily "You look like you could use some food to, come on" With out really thinking about it, he grabbed her hand and lead her into her kitchen and looked around thinking.

(Nah you fine! Sorry this is so short >.< )

[Guest]

Sam listened to him speak intently. Fortune cookie? He sort of did sound like a fortune cookie, now that she thought about it. His jest made her smile gently. She never thought she’d see the day she once more had a civilized conversation with him—especially alone. She realized now how foolish it was to think that Matt hadn’t changed after almost three years. He had been drunk at the time, of course, and wasn’t himself, technically. But, even if he had been drunk at the time, what made him do what he did? What part of his brain put ‘rape’ into his actions? Sam sighed quietly. He was right, though. They shouldn’t speak of what had happened anymore. It was time they got started fresh. Maybe one day they would get back to what they had before, and maybe even more than that. “Lunch sounds nice,” Sam smiled, but she was surprised when Matt took her hand. She didn’t pull away, however. Instead, she followed him into the kitchen before letting go of his hand and moving towards the fridge.

“Is there anything specific you would like to eat? Most of it is healthy food, just so you know,” Sam teased, remembering vaguely the contents of his shopping cart (and she knew him from before; he was a fan of microwavable foods, which tended to be on the unhealthy side). “I’m sure Ryan will love to have someone around who will buy him more candy and pizza than I do.” Sam shook her head affectionately at the thought of little Ryan, who had been so excited about a bar of chocolate. “Whatever you want, feel free to ask. I’m going to fix myself a salad…not very hungry. Order pizza if you want.” Sam nodded towards the wall, “There’s a phone on the wall over there; I’ll pay if you decide you want pizza.” Sam ignored Matt slightly as she fixed herself her lunch and got herself some green tea to drink. Before sitting down, Sam waited for his reply. Though sam would rather have had lunch on her own, she’d definitely put those thoughts aside for no other reason than to be a good hostess. Her mother had taught her better than that.

In the meantime, she caught herself staring at Matt, in her head trying to see the old version of him. He looked almost exactly the same, though his features had definitely matured from a boyish teenager to that of a proper young man, though his cheeks were a bit scruffy and looked as if they could use a shave. His looks, as well as the current situation of dining together, reminded her of the first time she had invited Matt over to her house to have dinner with her parents. She chuckled as she remembered how nervous Matt had been. Her mother had loved him from first site, but her father had been rather skeptical of her friend, whom just happened to be three years older than her (somewhat unexpected, right? Especially given her age at the time). However, by the end of dinner her father adored him and practically dubbed him part of the family right there.

Sam almost brought it up to him, mainly to explain why she’d laughed, but decided against it. Maybe after lunch, or during lunch, they could share memories as a means to rebuild their broken relationship. Maybe even have a complete conversation, if Ryan didn’t wake up. However, that was unlikely seeing as the young toddler had just been put to bed but a few minutes before. Sam sighed again and brought her attention fully back to earth, and to Matt. It was lunchtime, now “walk-down-memory-lane” time.

[ DX I am so sorry it’s so short!! I am attempting to get my muse back…so it’s not the best. But I felt bad about not replying for almost an entire month. I’m sorry it’s really lame. I feel ashamed. ); ]

[LoveOnHerArms]

Walking into the kitchen with her Matt looked around the kitchen inwardly happy that Sam didn't pull away from his, as he lead her into the kitchen holding her hand.She finely did let go of his hand and walked over to the frig. He leaned against the counter watching her silently thinking, arms crossed over his chest loosely as she look in and talked to him. Chucking a grin turned the corner of his mouth "You always were the more healthy one" He teased back, he didn't mind more healthy food it was just that took to much time and well when he came home from work it was a lot easier to just pop something into the microwave or over and call it good. Chuckling again he looked at her "Hey pizza is good for you, you have your grains,veggies,dairy and meat. See? All good for you" He grinned more, he could live off of pizza or it seemed like that somedays, she told him she was making a salad for herself and to order a pizza if he wanted too, hey that worked for him. Pushing off the counter he strolled over to the phone and gave her a look "Um no if Im getting a pizza Im paying for it Sam" Was all he said before he dialed the number he had memorized long ago and ordered a pepperoni pizza and putting the phone back on the wall.

Leaning back against the counter Matt watched Sam finish her salad and get herself a glass of some kind of tea, personally he was more of a energy drink kind of guy or pop, or some kind of sports drink well and water and coffee but he never really got into drinking tea, besides that he would get laughed out of the garage he worked at if he was caught drinking tea. He moved away from the counter to get himself a glass and filled it with water, feeling eyes on him, he turned and looked over at Sam one eyebrow raised before taking a drink of his water. Only to raise both his brows again when she laughed out of the blue. He wanted to know what she was laughing at but didn't ask just moved to the table and sat down with his water, rubbing the back of his neck Matt looked over at Sam and chuckled deep in his chest, "You've got that look on your face Sam, What are you thinking about?"

(Oh gosh! Im sorry it's so short! I loved your post! It was worth the wait hun. Really don't feel bad! It's all good )

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