a couple funny jokes

[××Eris××]

Q: Why is Snow White always getting mad at the seven dwarves?

A: Because of the way they always greet her, "Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho."



Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.



A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.
She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."


*women's english*


"Yes" = No

"No" = Yes

"Maybe" = No

"I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry

"We need" = I want

"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now

"Sure... go ahead" = I don't want you to

"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

"We need to talk" = I need to complain

"Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs

"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house

"I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

"I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep

"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive

"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not going to like

"I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

"Is my butt fat?" = Lie to me

"You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me

"Are you listening to me!?" = [Too late, you're dead]

"Do what you want." = You'll pay for this later

[Guest]

very, uh, interesting. i liked the one about the face and the skin, and.... i should stop talking now.

[××Eris××]

haha thanks. my sister helped, she is a true comedian

[Admin]

I had to delete a part because of bad language. Remember keep the site clean. Im giving you a warning right now. k.

[××Eris××]

ok imsorry, i didnt think it was that bad. before i put a joke on here ill send it to u to make sure ok?

[Admin]

Thank you. I would think it would be bad. I am trying to make it as clean as I can.

[××Eris××]

thats good. cuz there is alot of othr forums out there that r really innapropriate

[Admin]

Yes and have you noticed, they get shut down after about 6 months.

[Admin]

By Law.

[××Eris××]

omg really? thats crazy

[Admin]

it is but true.

[Sponsored content]