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Just taking a shot at something new....

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Just taking a shot at something new.... Empty Just taking a shot at something new....

Post by Saviour Fri Aug 12, 2011 7:58 pm

[Just a beginning, unsure if I will continue...]

The steps behind me lingered to a stop. Sending chills vibrating through my body. I allow a small tear to slip from my eye and roll down my cheek. A whimper slipping from my lips. "What do you want?" My soft voice of a girl slipping to his ears. It was too dark to see who it was. And I thought of how old he might have been. I was just fourteen! "Leave me alone!" I cry out, but the glowing yellow light behind me actually bended around the man's face. I was held up on the wall by chains, and struggling for breath. But I pushed on through the pain. His dark blue eyes looked straight into mine. I shake my head softly and look away. At the corner nearest to me. His hot breath on my neck. He narrowed his eyes in curiousity. Taking my chin in his rough hand, he pried it open and lifted it back. I struggle, but fail. He was much too strong. The next thing I knew, I was choking over salt. Tons of it. I cough and turn my head forcefully down. He allowed me the task. I cough and sputter to get the water-sucking mineral out of my throat. Spitting the dissolving bit from my mouth. I kept my head down and lift it to look him. A glare ruining my soft, beautiful features. "What the Hell was that?!" I snarl, pulling roughly at the cuffs on my wrists. Which were red from the rubbing. He turned his head to the side. I pinch my lips tightly together. My cheeks dirtied with the white salt crystals. I look down to find a strange symbolism on the floor. Curiousity lifted at my soul. I turn back to the mysterious man and he pulls the key from his beige trench coat's inside pocket. Pushing it into the lock and turning it. With a sigh of relief, I pull my arm close to my stomach. He then removed the other cuffs. Easing me softly to the ground. I immediately tried the door. Which was locked. I brush my thick bangs from my eyes. Which were clinging slightly to my forehead from my own sweat. "W-who are you?" I stutter, pushing my back to the corner nearest the door.

[continue or no??]
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Post by Guest Fri Aug 12, 2011 8:30 pm

(Interesting! continue!)

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Post by Saviour Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:45 am

[Thank You! I will =) =P ]
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Post by Spritz Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:48 am

continue, please
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Post by Saviour Sat Aug 13, 2011 12:01 pm


"Castiel" His words were low, gruff, and sent chills throughout my body. I wasn't exactly looking for a name, even though I did ask for one. I shake my head softly, holding the tears from stinging my eyes. "I mean what are you" He didn't answer right away. Turning away and picking up a strange looking dagger. Immediately I flinched and lowered myself to the ground. Hoping I could somehow defend myself better that way. His words seemed like a joke, but his tone was completely serious. "I am an angel of the Lord." I furrow my thin, feminine brows and look back at the door. "Okay, let me out now. This is a joke. Stupid." I almost had an angry tone to my voice. Who did he think he was? Remembering my necklace, I grasp the crucifix. He shakes his head and turns to look at me. A mess against the corner of the wall. Huddled pathetically. Yet I wasn't praying. "I didn't notice the crucifix, Clair" He spoke my name. Recieving a reaction from me that I never thought would come. "Leave me alone! You freak! Trying to mock me for my religion!" I grasp a piece of broken glass in my hand, must've been from a previous victim of his. He stepped forward fearlessly and it seemed he was going to pick me up or harm me. So, I of course, stood up quickly and threw the glass shard into his chest. It went deep, and could easily have killed any normal person. His expression didn't change. But instead, he reached up and pulled it from his heart. Letting it ring against the floor. WIth wide eyes, I step back. Pressing my back against the cool, stone wall and my heart pounding so hard I could feel it in my ears, throat, and chest. He never once smirked, frowned, or anything. Never laughed at my stupidity, never became angry. Confusion was replaced with realization, and I reach up to touch his face. Stopping inches away and nearly stopped breathing. "Why me?" Was all I said. How ungrateful. Why me? Really? I sounded like a five year old wondering why she got the barbie and her brother got nothing.
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Post by Man O' War Lover Sun Aug 14, 2011 11:13 am

Hey your really good, you should post this on Fiction.Press it's the sister site to FanFiction.Net exset it's for writers to post there own stories on the site. There not based on other books and lots of the sotrys are good. It's a site for writers who just like to share there work and some have published in the real world. I think this sotry would get sa lot of reviews and favriots if you put it on the site! I still like it to, keep up the good work you are a great writer! Very Happy Cool

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Post by Saviour Sun Aug 14, 2011 1:11 pm

Thank you !!! =D
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Post by Man O' War Lover Sun Aug 14, 2011 3:44 pm

Your welcome- Cool

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Post by Guest Sat Aug 27, 2011 8:35 pm

I love it! Your sooo good. I think you should Wright chapter books! Your good at details and mistorioes stuff! Is there more? Because I want to hear!

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Post by Saviour Sat Aug 27, 2011 10:57 pm

Well the idea isnt completely original.. but thanks. =p
i will try to write more tomorrow or sometime
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Post by Guest Sat Aug 27, 2011 11:14 pm

K... I'm making my 1st storey on Hl. Smile

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Post by Saviour Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:23 pm

I don't think I'll continue this actually. I sorta took the general idea from a tv show and I don't have a plot. I might right an original story or something. But I'm not sure I like this one very much..
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Post by Guest Mon Aug 29, 2011 2:16 pm

Oh, *Frowns*

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Post by themagus Mon Aug 29, 2011 2:41 pm

I didn't find the first part interesting, but the secound is great!
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Post by Saviour Mon Aug 29, 2011 6:44 pm

Thanks for the honesty =]
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