How Can I Be Blessed If Im Tainted By A Darkness Unknown To Me....?

[Guardian Angel]

"Blessed be Calamity Jane..."

The voice tumbled, roamed, and bounced around in my mind for days. The voice was so eerie and quaint that it made me shiver everytime is passed through my head. I would try to shake out the ring it left as it constently repeated itself over and over again. "Why wont you go away?" i find myself pleading aloud with no one else around to hear me.

It had been weeks since i was Changed, Marked, or as some call it Risen. I was just a young mare ahppy with my life as it was going so far. I had a stud by my side with a child in my womb and very close to due. We had our own home and a small herd with us that we loved dearly. One gloomy day, a white horse with flaring red eyes and locks of orange strode into our home and came at me. My mate freaked and tried to kill him but failed. The white broke still made it to me and i was frozen in my spot. My mate was near me and was screaming that i run but he sounded so distant like he was at one end of a tunnel and i at the other. It was like slow motion as i watch my family struggle to run and escape the horror the odd horse brought. He was suddenly in my face and lifting his muzzle to my forhead. An eerie, screechy voice ripped from his throat as he spoke the legendary words, "Calamity Jane, in the words of the Goddess, you are Marked!" and he was gone. I remember falling to the ground in a heap and blacking out.
I woke up soon with a terrible headach and my stallion looming over me with a horrified expression on his face. "Darling, your forehead!" he cried as i struggled to stand up. I felt lighter like i had lost forty pounds and i felt wet too, wet and warm. I did not bother with the wet feeling as i rushed to the creek. I peered down and smack dab in the center of my forhead on the white star was a bright blue crescent. It wasnt filled in, just an outline. I began to sniffle and my mate aided my side, "hush darling, everything will be fine." he whispered into my ear. "Where is the herd?" i spoke up suddenly aware they were gone. "They fled." he answered shortly. I was then aware of my warm wet feeling and he feeling of having no heavy weight anymore...
"Jane! Your soaking with blood!" my stallion cried. I whiped my head around and he was right our child's life was carelessly clinging to my deep brown coat and the grass where i fell. I began to cry and he began blaming it on me. Something deep inside sparked, a flaring anger i had known to exsist in me before. With a sudden jerk, i attacked my mate and drank his blood; ending his life.

Not long after, the great Goddess appeared before me telling me of what i had become and how i was to live out my new life. I cursed at her for killing my child and my acts that caused my mate's death. She remained calm. I was still furious as she tried to sooth my anger and unhappiness. I started to understand that she cared about me and wanted to help me now that i was her newest daughter and she departed with those haunting words, "Blessed be Calamity Jane..."

I stood silenlty against a large oak tree with my head down and my hind leg lifted slightly. I was tired from running all day and thankful the voice had subsided for now. It was dark out, night time, the moon a half circle and still bright enough to annoy me. Its harder to slink around in the dark with a spot light on you. I moved out from under the tree and wandered over to the brook where i studied my reflection. the water was like a mirror, portraying my figure back at me. The moon sillouhetted(sp) my mocha chocolate colored coat and matching locks. I was purebred Spanish Mustang with a thin white line down the length of my neck. On my forhead was a white star and the annoying, deadly thin blue crescent i was fated with. Growling, i turn and walk away. I walk over to my tree again and plop down to rest, hoping to get some sleep before the Goddess's words would shatter my small moment of peace.