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A sad story i wrote...plz read and tell me what you think

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A sad story i wrote...plz read and tell me what you think Empty A sad story i wrote...plz read and tell me what you think

Post by ~BrokenHeart~ Mon Apr 02, 2012 4:37 pm

Chelsea was tired of her parents telling her what to do. She hated them for ruining her life; never letting her do anything she wanted to. There was a party tonight she wanted to go to, but her parents said no.
"Please?! It's just for fun! It's not like I'm gonna do anything stupid," Chelsea said.
"I'm sorry honey, but it's just not safe. I know what happens at high school parties..." her dad said.
"Your father's right, Chels, you are a good kid, you can't go get drunk and party it up all night," said her mom.
"Ugh! I hate you! You're ruining my life!" Chelsea yelled, slamming the door to her room.
She stayed in her room all night throwing pillows, clothes, and her cell phone around in anger. Then she got a text message from her crush, Jake.
"Where are you? We are at the party haing a great time, you should come!" it said.
So Chelsea decided to sneak out. She didn't want to look stupid in front of Jake. She had one of her friends pick her up. It was her friend, Amber, who was clearly drunk.
"This party is unreal dude! I just had to come get you!" Amber said in a slurred voice.
"Amber, you're drunk," said Chelsea. "Drop me off, I'll walk."
"Chill out Chels! We are almost there," said Amber.

Back at home, Chelsea's parents went into her room to discover her missing. They jumped in the car and went out looking for her.

Meanwhile...Amber and Chelsea saw headlights coming towards them when a dog ran out onto the road in front of them.
"Amber watchout!" Chelsea screamed.
They swerved out of the way, and headlights from another car blaired in their faces.
"STOP!" she screamed, but it was too late.
The cars collided, leaving a big, tangled mess. Chelsea's vision started to blur, and the last thing she remembered was a dog barking before she blacked out.

Chelsea woke up in the hospital a few hours later. She saw doctors scrambling around with tools as fast as they could, trying to save her and the other people in the crash. She looked over and saw a nurse looking at her sadly.
"Did...did anyone in the other car survive?" Chelsea said weakly.
"Everyone's dead..." the nurse said, "I'm sorry...we're not going to be able to save you either." she said crying.
Chelsea looked down at her bloody body and could feel herself fading away fast.
"Can you do me a favor?" she said soflty.
"Yes, wht is it?" said the nurse with tears in her eyes.
"Tell my parents I'm sorry, and I love them, can you promise me that?" were Chelsea's last words.
The nurse didn't say anything, just sat there and cried.
"Why didn't you promise that girl you would tell her parents?" a doctor asked the nurse.
"The people in the other car..." the nurse trailed off. "Were her parents."
~BrokenHeart~
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Post by DreamFlight Mon Apr 02, 2012 4:54 pm

OMG! Great, yet sad, story! It goes to show kids they should follow their parents's orders as God has requested them to do, or big consequences could come along. I'm in tears right now.
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Post by ~BrokenHeart~ Mon Apr 02, 2012 4:56 pm

Thanks! I know, i was crying when i wrote it lol
~BrokenHeart~
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Post by themagus Mon Apr 02, 2012 9:23 pm

It's great, like dreamflight said.
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Post by Daydreamer Tue Apr 03, 2012 5:55 am

There is of course room for improvement, but yes, nicely done.
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